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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23273842">count the cost</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meatball42/pseuds/Meatball42'>Meatball42</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Established Relationship, M/M, Revenge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:34:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>686</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23273842</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meatball42/pseuds/Meatball42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Of course he doesn't want to leave. But for this, it wasn't even a question.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>All The Nice Things Flash Exchange 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>count the cost</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/seinmit/gifts">seinmit</a>.</li>



    </ul></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The first agreement, literally scribbled on the back of a napkin and signed with whatever crumbling authority was still vested on Nicholas J Fury’s shoulders, was that the Soldier would remain in the custody of the Avengers until martial law was suspended. It was a promise, from the Director of SHIELD, that no one would come for him until that time. As much as that was worth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hydra’s reach proved to be too much, and the Soldier shipped out. It was an unusual unit; Captain America, the Fist of Hydra, the Black Widow, some guy with a bow and arrow, and a handful of drones. That agreement, signed and initialed on at least two dozen sheets of paper, said that Stark Industries was taking responsibility for him, something something Super Soldier Serum, something about patent pending, and likely all sorts of loopholes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky (which was what he’d decided to go with, for the time being) didn’t read it. The Widow watched him sign it with an amused look on her face. Steve’s expression was drawn, as serious as it had been in Nazi territory, living on half-rations and with two injured Howlies. Bucky didn’t think a few pieces of paper rated that kind of seriousness, especially not a few pieces of paper that meant so little, in the long run.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That agreement held, for a few months. There was some media, the Soldier became a bona fide Avenger in the eyes of the public, for what that was worth. Bucky kept the mask on anywhere he might be seen. He kept the dirty work out of sight as well. That, at least, was normal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That agreement held, right up until Bucky learned that Pierce wasn’t dead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve found him in the entryway to their safehouse at three in the morning with his hand on the doorknob.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Buck?” he called softly, then yawned. He was still in the kitchen, couldn’t see Bucky in the doorway yet. There was still a moment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky closed his eyes and imagined turning around, acting like he was just coming back inside. Like he was really in this all the way, now that he knew the truth. He imagined meeting Steve in the kitchen and smoothing his hands up Steve’s chest. The way Steve would shiver but let him have his way. The way he would glance around to make sure the room was empty before Bucky kissed him, but forget himself a minute into kissing and making those quiet, pleading hums into Bucky’s mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He imagined it for a moment too long, and Steve turned the corner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a long pause. Bucky’s artificially slow heart beat hard in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where are you going?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky turned around, shut the door behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have some. Unfinished business.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He watched Steve’s eyes find the bag in his hand. Watched Steve’s fists clench, relax, clench again. On the edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll come with you,” Steve offered, but it was more like begging.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky shook his head. Steve took a step forward. Bucky took a shallow step back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It shouldn’t-” </span>
  <em>
    <span>take too long,</span>
  </em>
  <span> he wanted to say. Wanted to make it easier on Steve. That kind of promise, it was something to hold onto. That was something else he’d learned, back in Nazi territory. But something to hold onto didn’t mean you weren’t going to fall, anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll. Call you. When I can,” he said instead. That was the kind of promise they could make.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Steve didn’t move. He watched him like he intended to watch him leave, like a newlywed waving her lover away on a train to the killing fields.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bucky had unfinished business. But he wasn’t a monster, not anymore, and Steve deserved better than round two with the young man who’d tried to keep his fears and uncertainties at bay by ignoring them. He set the bag down by the door and went back to Steve, giving him the embrace and the goodbye kiss he deserved.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll call you,” he swore, and Steve rested his forehead against Bucky’s and screwed his eyes shut and nodded, and then let him go.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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